


I never

by gothikmaus



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Established Relationship, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-21
Updated: 2014-04-21
Packaged: 2018-01-20 06:36:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1500389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gothikmaus/pseuds/gothikmaus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Five-0 team plays "I never". Some interesting facts come to light.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I never

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written and posted on LiveJournal in September 2011.
> 
> Written in response to [leupagus's Promptfest 2011](http://leupagus.livejournal.com/88831.html). Prompt:The team, drunkenly playing "I Never," in which we find out someone (your choice who) is kind of a slut? (I mean that in a sex-positive way, I assure you.)

"I never spoke Pidgin."

"That's lame, brah," Kono said, her expression showing just how deeply disappointed she was with Danny.

"Hey, I'm running out of ideas here, OK?"

"Also, that's not entirely true," Steve butted in, "I heard you use the occasional Pidgin word every now and then".

"OK, Mr Splithairs, allow me to rephrase that: I never had a whole conversation in Pidgin. There, better now?"

"Yeah. Still lame, though."

"Shut up and drink."

Steve, Chin and Kono grabbed their shot glasses and drained them quickly. Danny had to admit he was impressed by how well his team could hold their alcohol: after the initial warm-up round of vodka lemon shots, they had moved on to straight vodka, but no one seemed to be really drunk yet.

"My turn. I never complained about pineapple on pizza."

"You're hilarious, McGarrett. Really fucking hilarious." Danny pointedly ignored Steve's grin as he downed the content of his glass.

"You go, Chin."

Chin leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms.

"I never went skinny-dipping on Christmas morning."

"Come on, cuz," Kono whined, but she was already reaching for the bottle, "I was a kid!"

"You were 16, Kono."

"Whatever."

Just as she was putting her glass back on the table, Steve filled up his own and drank it down in one gulp.

Three pairs of eyes stared at him.

"What? I felt like going for a swim."

"Naked. On Christmas morning."

Steve shrugged. "The water was warm enough."

Danny muttered "Freaking Aquaman" under his breath and shook his head. Which was now starting to feel quite heavy.

"All right, let me think, guys," Kono said, leaning her elbows on the table and resting her chin on her hands. "Ooh, I have it! I was never kicked out on the street in the middle of the night because I had forgotten to bring condoms."

Chin took a deep breath. "That's low, Kono."

"We're at war, cuz. Deal with it."

Another couple of rounds went by and everyone was getting more than slightly tipsy. Danny was finding it more and more difficult to come up with something to say, so he said the first thing that popped into his head.

"I never had a foursome."

Silence fell around the table, until Steve said "Technically, it wasn't a real foursome..."

"OK, please enlighten us," Danny was gesticulating even more than usual, a clear sign that he was not as sober as he thought he was. "What do you mean it wasn't a _real_ foursome? You either had sex with three other people or you didn't."

"It wasn't really... It was just, you know, four people having sex in the same room."

Danny raised an eyebrow and was delighted to see Steve squirm in his seat.

"And, um, in the same bed. Also, it's possible that me and the other guy sort of, um, swapped girls around in the middle of it?"

Danny snorted. "Please, raise your hand if you think that qualifies as a foursome," he said raising his hand. Kono and Chin followed suit. "See? Foursome. Drink up."

Steve had just brought the shot glass to his lips, when Kono went "Ohmygod, cuz, no way!"

Danny looked over to Chin and saw him pour vodka into his glass.

"All right, I can't really say I'm surprised to find out Mr Navy-SEAL-calendar has done some kinky shit in his career, I'm sure he fucked in every single continent, Antarctica included, but you? Spill it."

"Yeah, we want details," Steve added.

Chin actually looked embarrassed. "There's nothing much to say, really. I was on vacation with a friend, we met these two sisters..."

"Sisters?"

"Twin sisters. They said they did everything together."

Danny grinned. "Remind me to go on vacation with you next time I take a few days off."

"If your boss gives you any," Steve commented, words sounding definitely more slurred than they had earlier. "Let's see. I never wore underwear of the opposite sex."

Kono let out an annoyed huff and Steve raised an eyebrow at her. "Boxers are very comfortable, you know. The cotton is really soft."

Before anyone could comment on that, Chin reached for his glass again.

"Whoa." Danny was looking at him with huge eyes. "Please tell me you lost a bet or something."

Chin shrugged, trying to look nonchalant. "It was just a gag gift from a friend. Silk panties. Pink silk panties. Just for a laugh. But then my ex insisted that I should try them on, she wanted to see what they looked like on me and... Silk feels very nice."

"OK, I thought Mr July here was the naughty girl in our team, but it looks like I'll have to revise that."

Chin narrowed his eyes at him, a small smile dawning on his lips and Danny actually felt a shiver run down his spine.

"How about this: I never had sex with a colleague."

Danny made a mental note to never piss off Chin Ho Kelly. Ever. He and Steve reached for their glasses at the same time and drank without saying a word. Chin's smile grew even scarier.

"So, when did this happen, Danny? Were you still back in Jersey? Or was it after you transferred to HPD? Maybe I know the lucky one?"

"Um." Danny wasn't feeling very loquacious at the moment.

Kono giggled. "Wait, wait, wait. It's my turn. I never had sex in HQ during lunch break."

Danny pressed the heels of his palms against his eyes and groaned.

"Don't tell us you thought you were being subtle, brah."

Steve patted his shoulder. "Come on, Danny, see the positive side. We won't have to try to be discreet anymore."

"I hate you," Danny muttered, face still hidden behind his hands. "Every single one of you."

"No, you don't and you know it," Kono chirped.

Danny laughed. Of course she was right. He glanced over at Steve, who was holding his glass and smiling that silly, goofy smile of his. Danny grabbed his own glass, raised it and clinked it against Steve's.

"To the sluttiest team on the island."

He could hear Kono snort with laughter as he downed his vodka.


End file.
